DAY 4 - HEART ATTACK SEASON |
Here's a comical, slightly irreverent, take on the subject from Paul and Storm. It's off their Do You Like Star Wars? CD, released in 2010 on Murray Has Records.
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From The Associated Press, December 4, 2007 ******** 'Tis the season for heart attacks Rich meals, stress may be culprits By Lauran Neergaard The Associated Press
Washington - Those lords-a-leaping and ladies dancing may want to consider the downside of the holidays: Heart attack season has arrived. December and January are the deadliest months for heart disease, and many of the things that make the season merry are culprits: Rich meals, more alcohol - and all that extra stress. But what may make the Christmas coronary more deadly than the same-size heart attack in, say, August, is a double dose of denial. It's not uncommon for people to initially shrug off chest pains as indigestion. Research suggests they're even more reluctant for a run to the emergency room when it means disrupting a holiday gathering, or if they've traveled to a strange city - meaning they arrive sicker. Minutes matter. "You have one a short window of opportunity to save heart muscle," warns Dr. William Suddath of Washington Hospital Center in the nation's capital - where a cardiac team on duty 24 hours a day aims to start clearing victims' clogged arteries within 15 minutes of their arrival in the emergency room. How bad each year is varies widely, but some hospitals say they saw an upswing in heart attacks start on Thanksgiving weekend. At Suddath's hospital, it started with a surprise spike the weekend before Thanksgiving - with so many critically ill patients that doctors ran out of a key heart-pumping machine and had to rent two extras. Doctors have long braced for the seasonal upswing. A 2004 study confirmed it was a nationwide phenomenon, with peaks in death coinciding around the Christmas and New Year's holidays.
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This song about the annual feast is now part of another era. "Christmas Dinner" came out in the early 50's, about the time Tennessee Ernie Ford was starting to really hit the charts, along with a television show to boot! It's now out on a remastered CD titled: HILLBILLY CHRISTMAS, with a bunch of other "old timers," like Tex Ritter, Hank Snow, Eddy Arnold, and Homer & Jethro, from Direct Source label.
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The approach here is more in the true spirit of the season one might say. It's by Helen Russell, from her HOLLY DAYS CD, released last year by Ten To One Productions.
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This tune comes from jolly old England. It's by The Oxford Waits with The Mellstock Band, from their Hey For Christmas CD, put out in 2000 by Beautiful Jo Productions.
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. What Beast Is This ? The Trouble With Christmas Dinner by Liesl Schillinger SLATE Magazine
Six years ago, when my brother Justin brought his fiancee, Victoria, to Virginia for her first Christmas chez Schillinger, my mother marked the occasion by making a roast suckling pig. (Never mind that the entire family had gathered round the VCR the night before to watch Babe, the tear-jerking family drama about an adorable piglet who evades the knife.)
On the morning of the feast, my mother made mince pies while my father drove to the country butcher to fetch the swine. When he arrived home with the beast, there was a panic. It being December, the suckling pig had matured into a suckling hog— as big as a golden retriever—with curving sharp teeth and holes where its eyes had been. It looked like the victim in a porcine snuff film. As my mother despaired, my father had the presence of mind to grab a handsaw and divide the monster into two halves, each of which just squeaked into an oven. After it was roasted, which shrank it some, Mama laid it out on an enormous platter, covered its severed waist with a cummerbund of holly bunches, stuffed each hollow eye socket with a grape (she put White-out irises on them, studded with cloves for pupils), and pried its baked, fanged jaws wide enough apart to pop in a Clementine orange. When she appeared with the beast in the dining room, we all screamed. Luckily, Victoria had brought a ham—a gift from her mother, whose Southern dictum is, "Never go anywhere without a ham."
In the wake of the suckling hog debacle, my mother introduced ducks for Christmas. An entire flock of waterfowl (six) were sacrificed to feed 12 celebrating mouths. Thirteen, actually; one of the bassets, Ruby, dug the carcasses out of the trash, out in the snow by the carport, and gulped down so much duck fat that her liver shut down. She had to be rushed to the vet, where the doctors said her blood was like a duck-grease milkshake. After $3,000 of emergency medical treatment (including a canine blood transfusion), duck has fluttered off the menu, never to return.
This Christmas Eve, Mama is making chicken Kiev, stuffed with apricots. We're not Russian, so this may not sound all that traditional, but it will be our tradition—at least this year. With any luck, nobody will scream at the unveiling, and no dog will end up in intensive care.
(This is an edited version of a longer piece that goes into historical tidbits about what meats (beasts) have graced Xmas dinner tables here and in England over the years.) x
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